The Man Who Sleeps (Un homme qui dort, 1974)

Bernard Queysanne's The Man who Sleeps shows the life of a 25 year-old man who detaches from a routine (and real life) to wander meaninglessly through life, without any goal, accompanied of a straightforward monologue that goes on almost non-stop, contrasting with the silence and indifference of the main character.

This movie felt very very personal to me so what I'm about to write is definitely biased. It was painfully similar to the way that I experienced my depression. To each person, depression is unique. But I can say that my depression was almost ctrl c + ctrl v of this movie, it was eerily similar. Everything I could not explain when I felt at my most depressed is well depicted in this movie (and never ending monologue that was as exhausting as it was to live in a indifferent depressed state.) Un homme qui dort is the embodiment of depression to me. The apathy, the indifference, the inability to choose as you desire nothing. 

The still, calm and apathetic depression that feels like you just gave up and let go of that thin string that kept you attached to reality, to life and to even the self. As you care less and less and you let go, it's like you are slowly but progressively falling, not in an anxious way but calm and still. You live your everyday life and the days, weeks, months, years passed and you're not even aware that they've passed. you're stuck in your own indifference, in that unchanging situation and your inability to change because you desire nothing.

You embrace that nothingness and keep going without a goal you just wander through existence and you feel absolutely nothing about it all. You feel detached even from yourself (depersonalization) and your life feels like you're watching a character on TV, going with their days, a character that you cannot relate to. This was depression to me: apathy, indifference and detachment ... It's so impersonal, your own emotions feels like evaporating before your eyes until you have no access to them. And its not like you can feel angry to see them evaporate, instead you feel such indifference that nothing can bother you. "Do you want X or Y?" It doesn't matter... You watch your life from afar and with no signs of being emotionally engaged to it, you watch, you accept but you certainly do not opine. You're stuck to oblivion, you are nothing...